Awkward Love

(OOC: Godmodded a bit to get them into the living room. Sorries. :c Can edit if you like!)

Despite his intention to enjoy what he was going to be boastful and claim to be the best dessert he’d ever made, Theodore’s desire to eat was as fruitful as his wife’s and despite himself he smiled, stabbing his own spoon into his dessert. He needed the Firewhisky too, regardless of how nicely inebriated the wine had made him. He needed something harder. He would have told her no, just to wind her up further, but his own selfish desires won out and he rose to his feet with a new resolve. He wasn’t entirely sure what his declaration had gotten for him. He didn’t think he’d won over his wife – though that hadn’t entirely been his intention – but bizarrely he actually felt freer, healthier and better for telling Hallie. He didn’t regret it. Just as he didn’t regret saving her or marrying her or actually answering the Ministry’s summons. There are some things he would’ve done differently but as long as the outcome was still her, he would’ve eagerly and gladly revised the last year.

“C’mon then, hop-along,” he grinned, popping a kiss on her temple. “You’re perfect. I’m not telling you I’d rather you be someone else – just that I imagined someone else and I’m bloody glad it was you instead of my envisioned reality. You’re too good for sense and my continued survival, my darling. Let’s go.”

Theodore wrapped one arm around her waist and looped the other under her knee and carefully lifted Hallie out of her chair. Her form in his arms was all too light but her against him was a comfort that he hadn’t realised he’d desired. He could feel the warmth of her skin through her clothes and he could sense the rhythmic thud of her heart. She seemed all together perfect to him in her anger and her dismay. She had ever good reason to be livid. He’d not given her any decent reasons to trust him or pay him any further mind than she already did but he wanted her to stay and to be by his side. He needed Hallie and he didn’t think he could say it enough.

Leaving the kitchen with his wife in hand, Theodore entered the living room after thudding down the hall, pausing only for a second to pick up the box he’d gotten. He tossed it into her lap and smirked a little before sliding into the living room, flicking on the lights with his elbow as he went. Brilliant light danced into the room and the carefully furnished space seemed more like a home than it ever had for a moment. Theodore moved over to the settee, a soft smile settling permanently on his lips, and he set Hallie down, popping a small kiss on her forehead before moving over to retrieve the Firewhisky.

“Here we go,” Theodore declared, setting the decanter down on the coffee table with two glasses. He poured healthy amounts into each glass and once the decanter was stoppered he picked up Hallie’s glass and pressed it into her grasp. “Firewhisky for the lady.”

(ooc: sorry i didn't have many ideas on how to reply)

It had felt strange yet satisfying, an combination Hallie never really knew how to take. After all the angst, the bitterness, the hostility that she'd held towards Theodore now she realised her feelings had always remained there. Deep down. Hallie had been angry, annoyed, defensive when she'd spoke out before but then she'd concluded on a stronger end. Requesting firewhiskey had been an outburst, her own personality shining through. It was a cocktail of trivia and irritation.

Whatever had happened between the two must have been a work of magic. They had spoken once, perhaps twice, in the past month and here Hallie was being suddenly joked to and sweeped from her seat after awkward conversation. A part of her wanted to shout, demand he put her back down and allow her to fend for herself and use her leg but the warmth and comfort that radiated from her husband was too disarming. Instead Hallie tilted her head and sunk deep into Theodore whilst he carried her. It was a warmth she'd missed, something she hadn't had in fact Hallie was unsure whether the pair had been this physically close.

The kiss was magical. She'd felt the kiss before, a casual simply peck on the forehead but for the first time Hallie truly felt emotion flooding from his lips. A drop of Theodore on her skin was a marshmallow dipped in chocolate. Sweetly devine. It was confusing yet Hallie didn't care, she didn't try to work things out in her head, she didn't debate about how her mood and thoughts to Theodore had suddenly changed. Her Father had always told her to talk about her problems, don't bottle them in, if you have something to say then say it and say it loud. That evening her Father had returned to Hallie, he'd guided her and gave her the courage to tell Theodore how she felt. Her Father had been right.

Smiling Hallie accepted the glass of firewhiskey, although she didn't take hold. Her fingers locked tightly over Theodore's grasp of the glass and with that she pulled him down to her so close their eyes were only thing they could see. His chocolate, warm eyes Hallie yearned to fall into. It was those eyes she wanted, right now, to fall asleep and wake up to, those eyes were the eyes she didn't want to see vanish.

Then it came. It was extraordinary, breathtaking. A kiss to passionate, so full of optimism and electricity Hallie didn't want to come up for air. The blond would have happily died right here, right now, feeling nothing but the kiss that she gave to Theodore.

There was a remarkable power in a kiss and in the kiss that Theodore found himself immersed in with his wife, all of that power went to erasing the hurt that he had inflicted upon her. His arms wrapped tightly around her as his tongue traced her lower lip. A hand roved up to clasp around her jaw as his other slid beneath her shirt. His fingers slid over her stomach gently, trailing around her bellybutton with feather-light touches that were barely a tickle upon her skin. His kisses were gentle, full of passion but loving and careful to be sure that he was thorough in expressing his love for her.

On their wedding night they hadn’t even come close to this and it was only a kiss. Theodore had been determined to avoid consummating the marriage in any way, shape or form. He’d wanted nothing more than to hope that the law would run its course and they wouldn’t have to deal with the world. But it wasn’t going to happen, he realised it then and he relished in it now. What tied him to Hallie was much more than a law and a few papers. He had a piece of string behind his heart, linking him to her irrevocably.

Theodore lifted his hands back down and tugged at the hem of Hallie’s shirt. He pulled away gently after a moment and scanned her eyes with his own, waiting to see whether or not she would expect him – whether she’d want him.

“I don’t want to overstep,” he murmured. “If … just… say, I …”

Hallie felt her body move rhythmically in syncopation with Theodore's feather finger traces. It was a release, something she'd not experienced since before her marriage, something she hadn't felt since before she found out she had become an auror.

The last time Hallie had been held, appreciated and lusted in this way was the night after her job interview with a man called Joshua Alden. It mean't nothing, simply it was lust. After a few drinks and a dance at Satan's she'd found herself awake in his bed with breakfast brought up to her. At the time it had been horrifying, waking up besides a stranger. In the moment it had felt right, good, adventurous but Hallie was now realising that the best adventures are with those you know and love. Theodore.

The feeling of her skirt waist lower slightly gave the blonde a jolt. It was advancing and she would willingly let it. It wasn't a new discovery Hallie had been in touch with her sexuality since Henry Yewbeam it was simply the kind of girl she was. However something was niggling the back of her mind. Her leg. Everything came back to her leg.

For a few seconds, almost a minute Hallie's leg had evaporated from her mind. Theodore had made her feel before she lost the leg, when she was whole. Whether it was Theodore pulling away from her or the slightly tug at her skirt Hallie didn't know, all she knew now was that she didn't feel sexy. She didn't feel the way she should, she didn't feel the way she felt a second ago, all she felt was ugliness.

'I have no-' She said in a breathy tone, opening her eyes and allowing them to fall into Theodore's. He wasn't staring at her leg, or where her leg should be, but he wasn't touching her either. Her husband had pulled away when it had come to below the waistline.

He didn't want to overstep? What was that supposed to mean? He didn't want to go to far with his wife? Surely not, surely Theodore wasn't that much of a prude to not pleasure his wife, after all he was a Rookwood. Then that had to mean one thing: her leg. Her God dam leg. Losing her leg had taken away her independence, which she'd fought hard to keep tight of, and now it could be taking away any means of a sex life.

'It's fine.' She said, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around her husbands neck engaging him in another kiss. But was it fine? Would it ever be fine? The only way Hallie would know is if she tried, hopefully Theodore would stop if she wanted - hopefully she wouldn't want to stop.

No. She couldn't cover this up with a kiss. Pushing away from Theodore she stared down at her leg, unable to look at the Rookwood in the eye.

'I only have one leg. I'm, I'm not. I'm not-' Beautiful. Lifting her blue eyed gaze level to Theodore's Hallie continued, 'I want to but I don't feel like I'm, I don't feel... I'm ready but I don't feel...'

Pause.

'Beautiful.'

‘Don’t treat your wife like she’s a newspaper, Theo. You can’t read her once then throw her away. Treat her like a good book. Keep her forever and go back and love and cherish her with every read.’

When it came to women, Theodore knew better than to take. He’d had that drilled into him by bitter, old women who only kept memories of dissatisfaction and disdain in their hearts. He knew that newspapers were the throwaway women who were fleeting lovers, mistresses and femme fatales. His wife was the novel, the one that would take him years to read fully. Every chapter would be a pleasure and he’d thoroughly explore each sentence, each word and each letter. Theodore didn’t want to open the book if he didn’t feel he could trust himself to keep to the one volume. He knew it was ridiculous considering what he’d admitted to her but he didn’t want to let her down. If he did he wasn’t sure he’d be able to forgive himself. That was why he’d waited so long. He knew better. If broke the spine and started reading – what happened if something went wrong?

Theodore froze at her words. So he’d already ruined her then, it seemed. Theodore’s hands found her hips and he nudged her nose with his own, capturing her lips briefly before lifting his hand from her good leg to curl it around her cheek. Another round of guilt was passed through his system and he sighed, letting his forehead rest against hers. His hand around her cheek moved to comb through her hair and it was then that he finally decided to speak, to assure of something he had always thought.

“You are beautiful,” he murmured, his eyes searching hers. “You were always beautiful. Nothing has changed that. If this,” he reached down to tap where Cael had done his life-saving butchering – where her leg should have been, “is what you think I’m nervous about then you’re crazy. Crazy, alright? I love you. Legs, no legs, no arms, arms … it doesn’t matter because it’s still you. The only time I think I’d object is if you were headless.” He grinned despite himself and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I just don’t want to … Merlin. Look, it’s not new territory. I’m not a blushing bride, obviously, but I don’t want to go and … mess things up after…” Theodore inhaled, sitting back on his haunches to try and get to grips with what he was trying to say. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have and if I give in and then I hurt you anyway… I just… I wouldn’t forgive myself so I don’t want to overstep and then … well, fuck it up, basically. You mean too much to me. But I reckon I’ve mucked up anyway, eh?”

Sticks and stones may break my bones by names with never hurt me. Listening to Theodore made Hallie realise that the bad things didn't matter. She'd been mutilated, emotionally hurt and she'd come out a warrior. She now worn her scars as a medal of honour, the only thing about her leg she had left to worry was whether she'd ever feel the way Theodore was making her feel. The leg was gone, gone from her body and gone from her troubles. It was no longer a baggage. She'd thought it had changed her but really it hadn't, Hallie had simply survived another hurdle in life.

Nobody had spoken to Hallie the Theodore had. He'd bandaged up her insecurities, announced the thing she'd doubted to be a fictional worry. He had repaired her in the past six minutes after six weeks of drowning in a sea of self deprecation. Despite what he thought, regardless of whether the Rookwood thought he'd hurt his wife Hallie was healed. She'd finally escaped the darkness, been brought back into the light by her husband. 

'You didn't hurt me.' A light kiss on his neck, inhaling the erotic aroma of his cologne.

'You wont hurt me.' A light kiss placed the other side of his neck.

'And you haven't mucked things up.' Her eyes locked into his pools of chocolate for a second before Hallie's lips found his, her top lip opening the dance before allowing her fingers to trace along his thighs, clasping hold of his top then lifting it up as her hands brushed up his body. 

The constant fear of failure where his wife was concerned was a heavy weight that seemed to be a permanent feature on the landscape of Theodore Rookwood’s mind. He adored her. God knew that. All he wanted to do was do right by Hallie and he was determined that he wouldn’t be letting her go if he could help it. He needed her by his side. All he’d ever wanted since the day they’d gotten married was to have her, to keep her safe and make a life with her. He needed that stability as much as she did.

His shirt was abandoned, thrown across the room and Theodore couldn’t help but moan a little as her hands traced across his skin. His hands found the hem of her top, tugging it over head before pulling her closer to him. His mouth unlatched itself from hers and found out the skin of her neck, inhaling the fragrant aroma as he kissed a path down to the hollow of her throat. His hands snaked up to her back and took apart the tether keeping her bra together.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “I’m going to do things right this time, Hal. If you’d let me.”

Lifting his hands up to cup her jaw he kissed her lips tenderly, brushing his thumbs over her cheekbones. He nudged her nose with his and smiled softly before curling one arm around her waist. Then, his search resumed, his mind cataloguing every inch of the woman he called wife, his mind telling him that he should have done this so long ago – he should have loved her so fervently so long ago. Now, he was determined to make up for lost time, multiple times until dawn.