Rule of anger

"Fine. Whatever." Hear Charlotte giving up on something was really rare. So much rare it could be the way you count years. But this time she gave up because, to be honest, she wasn't in the mood for arguing. Arguing was one of her favorite off class activities but now it could make things only worse.
"We will just say that I'm right and see what will happen in the future" she smiled like an innocent little angel, or at least tried. You can never say it worked.

"Wait, what?" she looked at him confused. "You just say you know the best spots for hiding and now you don't even know where are we going?" she frowned while trying to keep up with him.
"Hey, slow down a little bit. if you didn't notice, I'm not the best-coordinated person on snow and ice" yet she smiled and looked at the big castle in front of them.

It was the funny thing, she used to hate this place, but even then she had to admire to this architecture. The big castle was so opposite of nature around it, but still was part of the forest and everything around. And it looked like something you may see at pictures made by people full of imagination, about the place from fairytales.

"Sooooo, do you plan to stay here or you want to try another job? What happened to you anyway? Did you graduate?" she asked and at the same time she would like to think she asked him just to stop silence, but truly reason is she was curious. There are always rumors, but you can't know what of them are true.

"We will just say that I'm right and see what will happen in the future.”

“Oh my God,” Ducky said through laughter, the muggle exclamation conjured so much more naturally than the usual ‘oh Merlin’ his peers often sputtered. She really was something else and if she could just see how she interacted with people, she might understand that it wasn’t magic that was the problem. Still, he found her hostility rather amusing and almost endearing. Almost.

He let out an exaggerated sigh, a smirk still playing on his lips. “Yes, I do know them,” he said, slowing his speech down mockingly to explain. “I just haven’t decided which one yet.” He was certain this was further irritate her, which was quickly turning into a very fun game for him. It was just… so easy. It almost wasn’t fair.

“Okay, okay,” he conceded, slowing a bit so she could keep up. They walked in silence for a moment and began to climb to the entrance. And that was when the interrogation began. Ducky managed to keep his eyes forward, away from her peering gaze, and cleared his throat, looking as casual as possible. “Um, I’m not in classes so… did I graduate?” The answer was yes, it was, but he didn’t feel like it was. His marks had been so bad that he barely qualified for a wand. A point of shame, and one he’d rather not discuss. So he continued to lie. “Hayes asked me to do him a favor, stick around, take the vacancy. Who could say no to that face?” he smirked. “What about you? Have you begun planning your post-Hogwarts life?”

"Oh my God what? Why are you laughing at me?" She frowned and gave her best to look angry, but his laugh was contagious so one little, almost shyly smile appeared on her face soon.
"I didn't say anything wrong!"Charlotte pursed her lips and looked at him.
He was still laughing and she was just there looking at him in expectation to find out what the hell is so funny about her words? Or it was her look? Or behavior? Suddenly she became really insecure.

"Oh yeah? You just like to be secretive and Mr. I know things but I won't tell you?" she frowned again while her cheeks become red. She doesn't like secrets. Now when she doesn't know them.
And she definitely doesn't like when someone is acting like if she depends on him, hell he could just say her which place, he doesn't need to be like that.

She stopped for a moment while thinking about his words.
"Yes, I guess that means you graduated but there are some rumors that you didn't. It's the only reason why I asked, sorry" she said almost apologizing, sad about the idea that she may be offended him.
Charlotte frowned. Hell, she could say No without thinking twice.
"Oh, I guess it was really nice of you. You know, to take the job. It's not like this is the best job ever, but you deserve something better to do." She shrugged, maybe too much honest for her own good.
And, just like that, he asked about her life after school and her smile became wider when they came to the comfort theme, something she actually liked to talk about.

"Oh, of course, I did!" she looked at him and then fast turned her look at the path because she was close to falling again.
"I was thinking of some colleges. I think I'm mostly interested in Social science, maybe Psychology or History but I like Math and Literature as well. We will see, I guess I have time." She shrugged once again, thinking about her future.
"But I think it will be something about math or History, I find it really interesting" she smiled again.

She really had an attitude on her. It amazed him that she couldn't see how stubborn she was, and how he might find it humorous. He'd bet she was one of those people to stubbornly insist she wasn't stubborn. So he bit back a grin and waved a hand, dismissing that line of conversation. It would just get her more furious, and he didn't need to tempt fate anymore than he already was.

"Don't trust rumors," he advised, his voice light as they made their way towards the castle. He wondered if it would strike her later at how accidentally insulting she had been, undermining the few good things he had going for him by subtly insulting his station. Maybe she was just young, unaware of how hard it was out there if you didn't have stellar grades. Because the truth was, there wasn't a better job waiting for him. This was about as ambitious as he could be currently.

She was much happier to be on the topic of herself, and he preferred talking about her plans rather than considering his own lack of one. They reached the stairs, which were slick with ice. He reached out and caught up her hand, planting himself on the second step to help her up so she wouldn't fall. He fell back into step with her once she had made the climb, releasing her hand as they strode into the hall.

"College, huh? Not going to take your NEWTs and snap up a cushy Ministry job?"

(Hope you don't mind the minor godmode. I can edit if you need me to)

(No darling, everything is okay <3)

He made move with his hand like if he wants to say that they are done with this talk. And she was definitely fine with that. She doesn't like when people are smiling to her. It only makes her a little bit more insecure in herself. When she see someone smiling because of something she said, it is as if her biggest nightmare become true; people don't care and don't think she can say anything worth of listening. Someone would say that is the problem and really low on self-esteem, but during the years she just learned how to live with that. That was something like the wind at her back, something which makes her ambitious and hard-worker. Everything that would prove to others that she is worth of their time.

"Okay, if you don't want me to trust the rumors, then what is the truth about you?" she looked at him curiously. She likes to get to know people better, to hear their stories and realize what makes them be that person they are, what changed their personality, and which makes are haunting them during the night when there is no one who would tell them that it's okay to make mistakes, and that bad decision don't make bad people.

"I mean, you don't need to tell me if you don't want, but maybe I can understand. And it's not like I would tell to everyone, you know, I don't have many friends here" she said honestly. Something about her personality, maybe her disgust to the magic, made people think she is the bad person, really unfriendly and someone you should avoid if you can.

It felt a little bit strange when he reached and grab her hand and she looked at him in shock before realizing he was just helping her to stay on the legs. So, when she finally survived stairs covered with the ice she looked at him thankfully.
"Thank you, I would probably die on that ice if I was alone. I don't have the best reflexes and coordination between my brain and legs, or even arms" she smiled a little bit.

"I have never been thinking about that. You know, all I always wanted was to finish this school and continue with my life among Muggles. The plan was always clear; be as best as I can here and then go to the college, in Ivy league if I'm lucky and smart enough for that. That is probably my biggest dream. I'm the one who is bad girl here, hater, and the stuff, it's not like the Ministry job is for me" she shrugged and smiled once again, this time to hide how uncomfortable she is about talking about magic and people opinions about her.

"Okay, if you don't want me to trust the rumors, then what is the truth about you?"

He didn't know he could even truly answer this. Ducky had been feeling lost lately. And by lately, he meant for the entire school year. Last year, the future had been frightening but the present was easy enough. He had known who his friends were, where he stood, what each day held. Now, he was expected to enforce discipline and rules, despite spending seven years defying his professors. He worked day in and out, mere months after the age of sleeping in all day. And now he spent most of his time relatively alone, which really could have never been said for his years as a student.

He spent a lot of time thinking. He never used to do that before.

Merlin, he missed Nora.

"There's not much to tell," he settled on, before latching on to her explanation. "And surely you have friends. Aren't you wicked clever? I'm sure everyone tries to wine and dine you in the hopes of getting your Charms notes." He grinned.

They walked through the Great Entrance and, on a whim, he aimed for the kitchens. He would wager she had never visited the elves. "Why'd you come to Hogwarts if you had no interest in leading a magical life?"

Charlotte realized that she probably crossed the invisible line and went from comfort to really uncomfortable zone. He kept silent for a really long time. He was thinking about her words or trying to come up with the perfect lie or just the way to tell her to back off. In either way, she made a mistake with her question and she felt really bad about it.
If there wasn't him, she would still be outside and freezing to death.
Finally, after forever he spoke but it was the shortest answer she probably ever got from anyone.
"It's okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a busybody." She lookedat him and smiled.
She knew he was lying because even the most average person would have to say something about their life but he obviously wanted to keep his privacy and she was good with that.

For the moment she looked at him like he was insane. And probably he realy was.
"Me? Friends? I thought everyone knows that I'm the outsider here but look, there is one person who doesn't know about that after all" she shook her head and put her fake smile back on her face.
That smile was the special one she made up for situations like this; when she was supposed to tell something really bad or sad.
"Those are not friends. I think the definition of friend is that friend is someone who likes and enjoys being with you. Those are people who like you for what you truly are, not those who just want your homework" she shrugged and looked at the distance just to be sure he won't see the pain in her eyes.
That is what she was, the person who would always help to others, but no one would ever help her.

Did Ducky really lead her to the... kitchen?
"Why are we going in the kitchen?" Charlotte asked curiously before he asked another question and this one was even more difficult to answer.
"Because my parents want me to come. And, you know, I'm not an adult yet so they made really clear I am supposed to do whatever they want me to do." She paused for a moment and then decided to try to come up with the better explanation.
"It's not like I don't like magic at all. I mean, it is really useful when you want to clean your room without even standing up from your bed or you want that great lipstick to come to you but... I am afraid what would my friends think if they ever realize what I am. My parents wanted us to live among Muggles and my life is with Muggles, here, I am just a stranger" she realized that this is probably the longest answer she ever gave to anyone but at the same time, it felt really great to finally open her soul to someone.

"Nah, it's fine, there's just.... not much to tell."

He wasn't sure why he felt the need to double down on the lie. Maybe because he was feeling a little bit vulnerable and the denial was just another way to duck the truth. Or maybe it was because he could sense that Charlotte wasn't the sort who was taken seriously very often, and he didn't want to invalidate her misery with his own.

Or maybe he still wanted to be well-liked and popular, the Can't-Get-Him-Down Duck.

He listened to her categorize herself as an outsider and he finally looked towards her, a frown touching on his lips at the harsh analysis. She was totally right to demand more out of a friendship.

He smiled at her. "Well, there's one person who doesn't think you're the Outsider of Hogwarts." He hoped it was reassuring, but pressed on just in case. "And you're right to demand more. Honestly, finding good people is hard enough as it is. You might feel on the out now, but once you find people you think are worthy of your friendship, they'll make up for it."

She asked after their path and he let out a shrug and a casual whistle. His meaning was clear. He wasn't going to tell.

Charlotte was really opening up now, and it seemed amazing that just a few minutes ago she was insisting upon solitude, condemning herself to the cold of the world and the cold of loneliness. It just went to show that everyone had a story, and most of them wanted to share.

"Parents are rough," he said. "I know what it's like to have someone make up their mind about what you oughtta be before you even know yourself." And this was some of that honesty she had been craving out of him. "If it helps, they never change... but it gets easier to deal."

Charlotte frowned and at the same time felt really bad. Of course, there was something to tell, it always was.
"Of course, I understand" she tried and almost succeeded to say that calmly and like it was nothing. But it was something. She just told him every bloody detail about herself, and he didn't feel she is worth to tell anything.
But she couldn't force him and she won't try for sure.
Everyone had a right to keep secrets, she told him hers only because she felt like her chest would blow if she kept it in her for few other minutes.
She was thinking about days when he was just the student. HDucky was everything opposite from Charlotte; popular, friendly, charming... Everyone liked him, and there was just something about him that would probably make people follow him to the end of the world. It was strange when she thought about that now. She could almost say she was jealous.

"It depends on about how you look at that, I think. I have friends, and they are probably even worse than people here, but they are there for me always. Most of the time all of them acts like snobs, they care only about party, gossips, alcohol and then all of this again. But, I get used to them, I know what I can expect from them and I am fine with that" she shrugged and then continued talking even if she badly wanted to just shut up.
"I mean, I know what they want from me. They want wild, crazy as hell girl who will always be the one starting parties or something crazy, and I can do that for them. In return, they offer me company, someone who is there so I know I am not all alone in this big world." She looked at him trying to see from his face expression what he thought about her words, but she wasn't able to see anything.

"God, what is wrong with you? How you just make people start talking about their life, and probably the deepest secrets?" She smiled and shook her head.

"What? You won't tell me where are we going? You know, I like surprises only when I know what the surprise is" she pursed her lips to look like she is angry but actually this was really fun. Even if they were just talking, well, even if she was just talking, she felt calm like never before.

"Oh, I think it will never get easier. Because I will always be their little girl who is trying to do everything to make them proud. That won't change for sure, I like to see them happy because of something I did."

"Your friends sound like my friends," Ducky said with a grin. And it was true. There was a point in time in which he had been surrounded by a comfortable group of close friends, people who had seen him at his best and (almost) his worst. The expectation to provide fun and trouble had never lessened, and he was reminded of an old saying. You said you were cold so I set myself on fire. It was something that seemed so easy and necessary at the time. When you cared about people, it was so easy to sacrifice anything to keep them happy. But that wasn't the whole of the saying.

"It's a hard balance to strike. Finding people who are good for you and finding people who will keep you around."

You said you were cold so I set myself on fire. But you got too hot and asked me to leave.

Everyone got too hot when exposed to fire for too long. And in its place, little was left.

He laughed at her sudden expression and shook his head. "It's been said that I'm easy on the eyes," he said, smirking as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Well, hang out with me any longer and you'll need to get used to surprises," he said, nearing the kitchens.

"I mean... You don't have to be anything," he pointed out.